Are you taking responsibility for your own life?

Category: Article or Blog
Published: Friday, 22 January 2016
Written by Sarah PJ White

Responsibility. It’s something we all feel we have on a daily basis, from bringing up our children to our work-related tasks.

It’s therefore little wonder that we can get a bit tired of all that responsibility, tired of the pressure it produces and the onus on being there for others. However, we still forge ahead with that responsibility, regardless of how we may complain about it – so why then, when it comes to our own life, do we tend to step back from taking the same level of persistent responsibility?

Using outside factors

No matter what level of religious or spiritual belief you may (or may not) have, we find it all too easy to reference how fate, destiny and luck all have control over the direction of our lives. If it’s good, they’re smiling upon us and, if it’s bad – they’re punishing or looking down on us.

To further compound the problem, we also blame those around us, for their part in causing our life to be the way it is! We blame them for not knowing what we think and feel, for not understanding and for not helping – when we’re not even knowing, feeling and helping ourselves!

What it really means

However, the simple fact is this – we control how our life goes. We control whether it feels fulfilling or empty and we control how others affect us.

The need to use outside influences as our controller, simply means we are stepping back from taking responsibility for our own lives. We can then take a passive role and find ourselves reacting to the situations we find ourselves encountering – rather than acting on our own will and creating the life we want.

Learn to take responsibility

So how can you start to take responsibility for your life and start taking a more active role in its outcome?

#1: Stop blaming others

As the saying goes: the buck stops here. It stops with you. Other people are reacting to their own situations, experiences and thoughts – the state of your life probably doesn’t even occur to them!

#2: Acknowledge what’s happening

Become aware of what is going on in your life. Not just the events, but how you’re reacting too. Acknowledge how you feel and think, what you like and dislike, as well as getting a clear picture of the facts around your life at the moment.

#3: Have no judgement, only acceptance

When you look at where you presently are, what things are happening and how you feel, don’t judge them – just accept they are as they are, at this moment in time. Remember, accepting them doesn’t mean resigning yourself to them – it’s about accepting they are there, at this moment.

#4: Change your mind-set

If you want to take responsibility, you need to start with your mind-set. What do you want to believe, moving forward? Do you want to be a passenger in your own life or the driver? If you want to be in control, accept that you have to start making decisions. Stop using language that dictates you have no control of what happens in your life, such as ‘that’s life’, ‘it’s in my genes’ and ‘it’s because I’m male/female’.

#5: Take consistent action

Moving forward, make the decision to act on your feelings, thoughts and emotions. If you want to do something, do it. If you say you want to do something, do it. But taking action also means being active – actively monitor your language and terminology, actively watch your actions and reactions and vocalise your thoughts and feelings.

 

If you want to take responsibility for your life and your happiness find out more here

Image courtesy of sean824/Dollar Photo Club

Get SMART with your goals

Category: Article or Blog
Published: Tuesday, 22 December 2015
Written by Sarah PJ White

Goals, they’re a part of everyone’s life, whether you’re in full-time education, an employee or self-employed. Even when you move from the work environment, goals are still there, when you desire to reach an end result that you don’t currently have. You simply cannot move forward unless you have a goal in place.

This is the same for life coaching. Whether you’re a life coach who wants to get your own practice off the ground, or a life coach/mentor who already works with clients – goals are an essential part of your coaching business.

Having a desired end goal in mind though, is really just the beginning. If you don’t set your goals correctly – you’ll fail to reach the finish line.

This is where SMART goals come into play. Whilst the acronym has several slight variations, the overall purpose behind it is clear – to ensure your goals have a higher change of being attained. So what exactly is a SMART goal?

Specific

Goals, by their definition, should stretch you out of your comfort zone, otherwise there’s no point having one. But they also need to be focused. It’s no good saying you want ‘more clients’ or ‘you want to be rich’ – HOW many clients do you want? HOW much money would you like?

Measurable

By making your goal specific, you enable it to be easily monitored and measured. This helps to motivate you on towards your desired end goal, as you can see EXACTLY what distance you’ve already covered and how far you may still have to go. By making your goal measurable, you’ll also be able to see when you’re off course and need to make adjustments too.

Achievable

By being specific and making your goal measurable, you’ll also establish if it’s actually achievable for you. Taking the ‘I want to be rich’ goal – how can you achieve it? How will you know IF you’ve achieved it, after all, what is YOUR definition of ‘rich’? When you narrow that goal down to ‘I want to be earning £200,000 a year’.

Results-focused

This brings you onto results. By covering all the previous points, you’ll be able to establish WHAT you need to do in order to make it happen. Using the example above, you may need to up your prices, increase your work hours or advertise more – all things you can break down into manageable sections AND monitor the results.

Time-bound

The final step is to establish a completion date for your goals. This is essential, if you want to achieve them – without it, you lose the urgency of any action. Being time-bound also means making sure you CAN realistically achieve it in the timescale you’ve set.

So, now you know what SMART goals are, how about taking a look at your goals, and see if you can adapt them to fit in with the SMART formula, to ensure a greater chance of success?

And if you need any help with creating and achieving your goals get in touch and let's have a conversation to see if we could work together to get you where you want to be.

Image © Marek/Dollar Photo Club

The importance of grounding and protecting your energy

Category: Article or Blog
Published: Tuesday, 01 December 2015
Written by Sarah PJ White

Grounding helps you control energies that flow through you. It helps to keep you tethered and focused on the here and now – and this is especially useful when you’re working on visualisations, angels and guides. But it’s not just the more ‘spiritual;’ people that need to ground – it’s beneficial to all of us.

If you’re spending a lot of time feeling generally lost and unsettled, forgetful and/or shaky, the chances are you’re not grounded. Like an electrical current needs earthing, people need to ‘earth’ their energy too.

What can grounding do for you?

Grounding is so important to your emotional, physical and mental health. It helps promote a positive feeling of wellbeing and connection, helping you to feel settled, confident and secure. Grounding can also help improve your sleep pattern and your overall energy throughout the day.

How to ground – a simple exercise

  • Place both feet flat on the ground
  • Take a couple of slow, deep breaths in and out
  • Imagine tree roots extending from your feet, down into the earth. These tree roots go right down into the earth’s core.
  • If you wish, you can then release negative or excess energy and stress from your body, by taking it down and out through the roots.

Protecting your energy

Healers, coaches and therapists who work with other people on a regular basis need to protect their energy, as they often have to deal with clearing negative energies. But we all interact with different people on a daily basis, meaning it’s vitally important for us all to protect our energy.

Why you need to protect your energy

Have you ever been in a room with someone and felt drained when you left? Your energy is what helps you feel alive and connected with the world – but if you don’t protect it, other people can drain it from you – leaving you feeling energetically drained.

But we also absorb other people’s energies – again, leaving us with unexplained mood changes and feeling really tired. We interact with the vibrations of everyone around us, so protecting our own energy helps prevent this happening – especially with the lower, heavier vibrations of negativity and heavy emotions etc.

How to protect your energy

  • Imagine yourself surrounded by a protective bubble of white light, completely enveloping you from head to foot.
  • You can fill the bubble with this light and positive energy, surrounding you with love and joy.
  • Now picture negativity and/or dark, heavy emotions as arrows coming towards you. These arrows simply bounce of your bubble and fall gently to the ground.

This simple visualisation technique can be carried out throughout the day, prior to spending time with negative people or in busy offices etc. – basically any situation that feels like you need some extra protection.

Image © andreusK/Dollar Photo Club

Focus on your breathing to release stress

Category: Article or Blog
Published: Tuesday, 08 December 2015
Written by Sarah PJ White

A hectic lifestyle will inevitably lead to stress. Unless you’re lucky enough to work for yourself or work from home, there’s the commute into work and back again, the queues and traffic, and the general feeling that everything and everyone are just too busy to slow down or take a breather.

And sometimes, we just want the pace to stop, or at least slow down enough so we can catch our breath and our bearings!

Why you need to take a breather

You may not be able to change your work situation or the general busyness of others – but you can release that pent up stress.

Giving yourself a 10-20 minute timeout to focus on your breathing will enable you to do just that, as well as allowing you the space to calm down and take a step back from your life.

Breathing is just breathing… right?

You see, breathing itself is automatic to us all – but that doesn’t mean we’re actually doing it right! Stressed and busy people tend to shallow breathe – taking short, shallow breathes from their upper chest area. This can quickly lead to hyperventilation, anxiety and panic attacks, plus it can also prolong the associated feelings – especially as shallow breathing is actually part of the typical stress and fight or flight response.

Abdominal breathing, on the other hand, aids relaxation and promotes stress relief – meaning lower blood pressure, a steadier, slower heartbeat, reduced stress levels and an increase in your energy.

By breathing slowly, deeply and evenly through your nose you’re ensuring you have a balanced oxygen and carbon dioxide in your blood – and this leads to an improved immune system and reduced lactic acid build-up in the muscles of your body.

Practice better breathing

  • Sit comfortably and raise your ribcage to expand your chest.
  • Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen.
  • Feel how they move whilst you breathe.
  • Breathe in through your nose for a slow count of five (don’t worry if you can’t reach five just yet, keep practicing until you can).
  • Allow your chest and lower stomach to rise.
  • Breathe out through your mouth for a slow count of five.

Get yourself into a routine of practicing this breathing technique twice a day for 10-20 minutes a time and you’ll soon start to notice an improvement in both your mood and your energy levels.

Image © bertys30/Dollar Photo Club

Is your wheel of life imbalanced?

Category: Article or Blog
Published: Friday, 27 November 2015
Written by Sarah PJ White

The wheel of life is a really popular coaching tool – and is it any wonder? It gives both the coach and the client a visual, easy to understand view of your life and what areas need addressing. The great thing about the wheel of life is you can actually work on it by yourself too.

Why a wheel? Well, it gives you a smooth, easy ride if your wheel is even. However, if it’s uneven – you’re in for a bumpy, wonky journey!

If your life is leaving you wanting clarity or if you want to know which areas you need to work on, read on to find out how creating your own wheel of life can help.

The different areas of the wheel

The wheel of life comprises of 8 sections, each one representing an area of your life. The different areas are:

  • Health
  • Money
  • Personal growth and learning
  • Family and friends
  • Career
  • Physical environment
  • Fun, leisure
  • Significant other/romance

You can also tailor the wheel to match the unique areas of your life, by changing the areas to match specific areas you want covered.

What’s important to remember about the different areas of your life is they all interact and affect each other. For example, you may feel that your career isn’t where you want it to be, so is making you unhappy. That unhappiness and discontentment will have a knock-on effect on your money, health and possibly even your significant other, family and friends.

How to compile your own wheel of life

Draw a circle and divide it into 8 equal sections. You then need to mark numbers 1 through to 10, starting from the inner part of the wheel (as illustrated above).

You can then mark each area on a ‘satisfaction/happiness’ score of 1 to 10 – with ten being the most satisfied or happy.

The end result will show you which areas you need to improve or work on, in order to make your life more rounded and positive for you.

Working with a life coach to even out your life areas

Sometimes the results shown by your wheel of life will highlight areas that you are unsure of how to solve. This is where a life coach can help. They can help you get clarity on what you want, as well as how to get the results you wish to achieve in these specific areas – leading you to find a more balanced, healthier and happier life.

If you want to work with me, I offer 1:1 coaching as Finding Your Joy Formula and a 4 week course The Joy Journey or just send me an email and we can arrange a discovery chat. I'm excited to talk with you.