How do you feel?

Category: Article or Blog Published: Tuesday, 04 August 2015 Written by Sarah PJ White

Ask anyone how they want to feel and you’ll get various answers, ranging from calm through to happy, elated or ecstatic. Most of these answers will be given, without a pause for breath or time to think about the response. However, ask those same people how they feel at THIS moment in time – and they’ll have to stop and think, before giving you an answer.

We are all searching for positive emotions. We all want to feel them, we strive to find them even – but in reality, on a daily basis, we’re not even connecting with our emotions.

We learn to push emotion and feelings down

Life is seen as something we ‘strive’ at. We aim our focus and goals on a long-term end result that’s connected to a feeling we want to experience – without taking the time to connect and experience our feelings NOW!

We’re taught to ‘keep a lid’ on our feelings’, to ‘man up’ or ‘stop being so sensitive’, to bottle our emotions and only let them out at a ‘later date’. If you’re female and show your feelings you’re often seen as ‘sensitive’ or, worst case ‘an emotional mess’. If you’re an emotional led male, you’re seen as ‘soft’ or ‘weak’.

It’s these negative comments and how ‘embarrassed’ other people act around an emotionally-led person that leads up to ‘play safe’ and keep our emotions ‘in check’.

Our emotions ARE important

This then causes our further problems, as our emotions ARE important. They’re our GUIDANCE system. They help us ascertain what we do and don’t want – sometimes even when our logical brain hasn’t registered the reasons why!

At our core, we all want to feel the best we possibly can feel. Whether we call that love, happiness, contentment – we just want to feel GOOD.

Our emotions help us illustrate how we are feeling to others, via our resulting body language. This helps us to connect better with other people, as well as understand them better.

We are constantly LOOKING for happiness when, in reality we FEEL it – if we let ourselves experience the emotion behind it. We need to bring our emotions from the background and make them part of our main focus.

Learning to connect with your emotions

So how do we better connect with your emotions? Start by taking the time to ACKNOWLEDGE them. ACCEPT the emotion you are experiencing – don’t try to rationalise it.

Throughout the course of each day, check in with how you FEEL. Give the feeling a name – whether it’s frustration or anger, happiness or contentment – and identify WHERE you’re feeling it.

PLAY with your emotions. You can give them a colour and/or shape, and see if you can expand or contract them.

Finally, TALK about emotions. They’re an integral part of us humans, so learn to get COMFORTABLE with them.

Spend this week listening to your emotions and getting comfortable with how you're feeling - you'll notice such a difference in your mood and your outlook!

Image courtesy of Romolo Tavani/Dollar Photo Club

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